Keeping up with Kaguta S1E10: A fallen goat and other tales…

My car knocked a he-goat in Seeta or Bweyogerere. According to our UPDF doctrine, I should have stopped. But I couldn’t stop because people will gather. My people will compensate him” Yoweri Kaguta Museveni (19.04.2020)

Again, the President of Uganda, Yoweri Kaguta Museveni is reminding himself of his presence. This time from the State House at Nakasero Hill in Kampala. This is the second term of lockdown and whatever rate of speech addressing COVID-19. Not like he will enlighten us, more show his flair and his existence. Also, ensure that the organizations of the state will work hard tomorrow with some newly created measures. Because, that is what he does.

So with in mind. I will take my favourite quotes and comment on them as I see fit. As there is always enough context to add to the gibberish and long-talking narratives the President does. He needs two hours just to escape 1986 and get closer to today. That is the reality of the matter and therefore, the TV Channels can escape making content for two hours the days Museveni is speaking. That is why its not worth to drop a whole speech, because we don’t want to waste your time.

Here’s tonight’s quotes:

I want to thank the scientists. That’s why I want to call on the bureaucrats, politicians to pay the scientists well. Their work is practical!” – Museveni (19.04.2020)

I was told that salt is a problem, that it’s coming from Kenya, and Kenya doesn’t have enough or something like that. But if you get the beans and the kawunga, you can eat ‘ebinyiga’ (food without salt) or buy for yourself” – Museveni (19.04.2020)

If I hear that food is not enough because people are hoarding, I will import… Those things of yours will rot in your stores… I will import cheaper food from Mexico…” – Museveni (19.04.2020)

We will kill locusts democratically. But they’re currently not keeping time because of heavy rains these last two days. We’re ready & set – when they come we will kill them” – Museveni (19.04.2020).

I want these people to buy us cars, talk to MTN if they can convert these into vehicles” – Museveni (19.04.2020).

Expecting mothers can use any means of transport to go to hospital. Pregnancy is something that can’t be faked, it’s obvious unless someone puts a blanket, if we find you, we shall arrest you” – Museveni (19.04.2020).

If a truck driver links with idiots, we shall handle them. We know how to deal with idiots. God can’t also be here looking after idiots when there are more people in other countries suffering more” – Museveni (19.04.2020)

I feel that this is enough quotes to address. Because, if we take over too much. Than you get to much out of him.

The first one is about paying scientists, blaming others for not paying them. When he could just directed the Ministry of Finance and Ministry of Education (his wife) to pay them more. Alas, the President hasn’t pushed for that, because that hasn’t been important for him in all the years in office. So, I call this rubbish from.

Second, don’t expect the President to deliver spices or salt in parcels or boxes from the state in their delivery during the lockdown. The President couldn’t care less and expect people to go out and try to fetch. When they are ordered to stay home. Just to spend money on salt, when they are not earning money weeks on end.

Third, this is the sort of expectations of a crisis like this. The prices will rise, as the lack of import already hits. Also, the state controls the consumption and also transport of food. That is why the prices are rising. Just like it happens across the board and worldwide. This is also from the President who has coined BUBU, “Buy Uganda Build Uganda”. If he buys posho from Mexico, doesn’t that undermine that?

Fourth, that locust will be killed democratically. How does that work? Is that petition the Parliament and see if the local councils are voting for the killing or nor? Will the votes happen in the Ministry of Agriculture and such? Because, this seems to kind for a pest and destruction of fields for farming. In this issue, he could go out with pesticides and ensure their death. However, he will have some kind of referendum on this, but didn’t need that on the age-limit. How convenient, right?

Fifth, ungrateful Ashton Kutcher knock-off and head-of-state. Duh… “Dude Where is My Car?”. That is where you at. MTN is a private company. They can give whatever they see fit. Unless, you taxes them in regard of cars and such. That would be weird and hard legislation to write. However, you cannot pin-point private companies and tell what you want. How ungrateful are you?

Sixth, here is a nice comment and will. The President is right. Pregnancy isn’t a joke and hard to fake. However, there been death and destruction by armed officers, police officers and LDUs towards pregnant woman. Therefore, he should direct the Police Force, UPDF and whoever else who causes this hurt. Not just sending them as pigeons into the streets and hoping no-one will clip-off their wings.

Seventh, people act like people.. If you want that to change… than you make them a better offer. They did this, because its all natural.

Mr. President this wasn’t it, unless you want to be a punchline. Peace.

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